It was a hard life for my mother, who herself experienced a disability that never got fully diagnosed and addressed. She had no choice but to have an arranged marriage and then to have kids. It was my Grandmother’s way (my Grandfather passed away when my mother was a child) of setting up a structure of support for the long-term future.

My sister developed learning difficulties when she was a toddler after an accident. My brother was born with Cerebral Palsy, and despite doctors stating he would never walk, my mother did everything she could to train my brother to walk, which turned out successful.

I was initially taught to speak Punjabi as my first language. Still, I must have found it challenging to learn English simultaneously because by the time I turned 4, I didn't speak English, and somebody informed my mother that I would need to go to some Intervention to help me learn English. As a result, everyone in my household stopped speaking Punjabi to immerse me in English; whilst that did work, I have struggled to learn Punjabi ever since.

When I was 11 years of age, my mother and father divorced; they had already separated for a few years before that; my father would sometimes get drunk and then all I remember were the subsequent shouts, fighting and visits from the police gathering statements as somebody would instruct me to go back to bed or ‘stay upstairs.’

My mother also, at the time, converted from Sikhism to become a Jehovah’s Witness, which my father did not accept. The custody battle took a toll on my well-being as I was torn between 2 parents who both wanted me, whilst one of them had no interest in my disabled siblings. I was constantly put into this fear of being kidnapped as a child, which doesn't make sense, but back then, it made an impression on me and hindered me from enjoying my childhood.

I have fought my whole life for my mother, brother, sister and grandmother; it’s time I expand that fight to each and every single one of you.

My Faith

From Sikh heritage, I was also brought up as a Jehovah’s Witness; I got baptized on my 13th Birthday. I found a loving and caring community that supported me and my now single-parent mother during my teen years. I will never forget the Individuals who either helped my mother and siblings or gave me that 'father figure role' as I went through puberty. I was blessed to have friends from different backgrounds and ethnicities, and I pursued a full-time minister role at the age of 16, but everything came crashing down when I got excommunicated as a young adult when I identified myself as part of the LGBTQ community.

It was a painful time in my life; I lost all my friends and my entire support network overnight; all communication was severed as per their guidelines. I effectively had no one, and my mental health went south. I was fortunate to seek professional help in Early Intervention; I would not be here today without it.

My Journey

At the same time, after having obtained a Diploma in Accounting & Finance and working for a few years, as well as seeing my siblings go into full-time government care, I wanted to learn more about myself and my connection to this world and society as a whole after being insulated in a secluded community for most of my childhood years. I needed to go somewhere where no one knew me, where I could start afresh, where only I was the baggage I was taking with me.

So, at 23, I left the UK, took advantage of the UK government's Youth Mobility (Working Holiday) program, and moved to Japan on the other side of the world. I landed in Tokyo with a suitcase and a phrasebook in hand, only having learnt a few words at this stage, but I managed to find work as an English language Instructor within one month of arriving.

It was a culture shock, but being immersed in a different environment helped me learn a new language and culture and who I was as a person. Five months later, the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami were the first test of how I would react to a crisis on my own without being able to seek the help of family and friends. It was a difficult time; not only was I concerned with the situation at Fukushima (which also meant leaving Tokyo and moving to Osaka 2 days after the earthquake), but I was also listening to many of my new students telling me about how a relative or loved one lost their life; some of those stories will always haunt me for the rest of my life. I became a confidant, that listening ear; I wanted to help them process this grief while teaching them English simultaneously.

I then moved to Australia and struggled to find a job in Sydney; it took 3 months to finally get work in accounting, and I started to understand what it was like to be a temporary foreign worker. Nobody was interested in hiring you because you could only live and work there for 2 years. I experienced discrimination, too. I resorted to using an Anglophone pseudonym of my name to be considered by recruiters for job opportunities. I always noticed the look of surprise in people's reactions when they heard my British Accent from someone who wasn't Caucasian.

I also remember doing so many different temporary jobs between longer job stints; I worked in removals, traffic control, a tempura cook, pizza delivery, and car valet, as well as a Cotton Gin worker in the outback working 12-hour shifts for 3 months to meet my 2nd-year visa working requirement, I started to learn how to be strong amidst adversity.

I was independent and living on the other side of the world at 23 years of age; I’ve had my share of trauma and grief. I’ve been discriminated against just for the colour of my skin…I’ve worked the gig economy as well as long 12-hour shifts.

I know how hard life can be for everyday Canadians, and I’ll be there for you when times are tough.

Moving to New Zealand gave me a fresh sense of awakening; I was no longer finding it difficult to get temporary accounting work, but I was also thriving. However, the struggle now transitioned into finding appropriate housing in Auckland; I moved seven times over 18 months; supply, cost, suitability, location, and relationships with roommates were all differing factors behind this.

What I found refreshing (compared to Australia) was its Indigenous rights for the Māori, democracy being much stronger and harmonious, therefore less polarizing due to proportional representation, the environment and its bio-diversity given the focus and attention it deserved, as well as the relationships and connections it had with many pacific islands and their peoples which I was fortunate to visit in person on five separate occasions in 2015.

My move to Hong Kong somewhat reminded me of the stark realities of life; the fight for a basic democracy was evident to me when I arrived around 18 months after the Umbrella movement, hearing the discussions, witnessing further protests and seeing the gradual decline of the universal suffrage movement due to threats of violence, intimidation and incarceration was already evident in 2016. I started to appreciate how valuable democracies and their institutions are, as they can be taken away by authoritarianism without much opposition in a short period of time. It made me value what I had and what I was brought up to believe in.

I had the opportunity in 2017 to travel to several cities in Mainland China, and I will never forget my trip to Beijing. I was entering Tiananmen Square after going through all the security and ID checkpoints; after the very last checkpoint, I saw a Chinese woman with a young adult being pushed in a stroller and having visible learning difficulties; she was happily waving the Chinese flag until agents stopped them from entering the square any further. The change in their reactions was almost instant, with the mother breaking down in tears. My heart went out to them, knowing that if my family were born and lived in a different country, they, especially my siblings, would encounter discrimination and stigmatization. I saw a good example of how people and their representative governments differ; they do not always reflect national sentiment.

I have seen what happens when democracy gets eroded. I don’t want a two-party US-style system. Throughout Canadian History, Minority governments have delivered far more than majority governments. Let’s keep the next government accountable by electing someone who will work for you!

My Return back to the UK

I finally returned to the UK after 7 years, being slightly older and wiser, attending to my Grandmother, who recently had a fall and was diagnosed with Cancer and needed to go into a care home. This was after the Brexit vote, and I could see in my hometown that things hadn't improved; they were either the same or got somewhat worse. I applied for work in my accounting field and encountered the same question in most Interviews I attended: “Why did you come back here?” That question made me consider whether I could live in the UK again for the long term. I learned so much when I was overseas, but for the 9 months I was back in the UK, it seemed that life had stalled and everything around me had.

Why Vancouver?

I moved to Canada in April 2018 and have lived in Vancouver for the last seven years.

I chose Vancouver over Toronto because I love hiking and landscape photography. The West Coast is perfect for pursuing my passions and interests in beauty and nature while living in a sizeable, LGBTQ-friendly city with all its services. I also struggled to find a suitable house for my first three years here in Vancouver and moved around six times.

I have also noticed a notable shift within our community as a whole since the pandemic; many people have also experienced joblessness, discrimination, grief, housing insecurity, and food insecurity like me. This, in turn, led me to work with other volunteers at a Food Bank to create and launch a food pantry outside the premises so those who cannot access food during regular hours have a chance to obtain food at any time.

I felt elated when we launched the food pantry and saw the handwritten notes we received from those so stigmatized in society that they would never be seen at a food bank. This further impressed on me the need to take on more work in serving the community at large and understand that there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.

I, too, have had to rely on the food bank and government assistance. Lived experience is far more important than understanding or empathy. Vote for someone who has lived in your shoes, not someone who has looked from far away.

Getting Started

Originally from the UK but of South Asian origin, I grew up in a single-parent family with two siblings who have learning difficulties.